The last meeting I had with the school did not go well. The paths we have in mind for T are growing wider. I questioned why he came home with soda and chips “Well he bought that with his allowance” (so as long as he brings his own money he can buy whatever he wants with it?) Then I questioned the choice of chocolate milk with every meal, and mentioned that I consider that a dessert. “Well I have NEVER considered that a dessert!” “…..and this is why he has gained 18 lbs in the short 3 mo he has been here”. I shot back. I also mentioned that he would be returning to his school next week, just for the week so that his charter-school eligibility would be secure. I could tell that she was not happy about that.
I was surprised that she did not continue the conversation with me, but instead chose to talk directly with the Social Worker. Yes, the social worker/state are still the legal guardian, but anyday we will open our mailbox and find that the adoption is final.
The conversation began with the Social Worker mentioning two prescriptions that the school had sent home, and that I chose not to fill. It completely boggles the mind, that they are quick to medicate, but won’t even visit the idea of good nutrition, and imagine that there is a link between behavior and nutrition. I also mentioned that he is not getting daily therapy like I was led to believe he would be receiving. “Well, no, but the counselors are more skilled at working with kids with challenges”.
Lastly, and the core of the conversation revolved around his education. I am not happy with this school, and want him back with us, and back at his original school. I think he needs stability, security and love, (and therapy and proper nutrition). She thinks that that our Charter school is not equipped or experienced with working with kids that come from hard places. I reassured her that I was ready to do what ever I needed to do, even if it meant ‘volunteering’ in his class everyday so that I can help with any situation that came up.
She continued to argue the point that a public school was better for him, and pointed out that when he was at a public school while living with his bio-mom(3 mo of Kinder) he did fine. “Well, for one, he wasn’t depressed, and missing his bio-Mom, I pointed out that was probably the difference not the school.” Then she says… “Besides, you know I don’t think he is comfortable at that school, you know he is where he came from, and I think that school makes him feel inferior” hmmmm, that is quite a statement ” coming from a social worker. Then I told her “But, this is not who he is becoming…his potential is far greater than that!” besides, the school is more diverse than a public school, with the Spanish emersion component, it attracts as many Latinos as it does white and black students, and the fact that they wear uniforms also puts them on a level social-economic place. I continued to listen and silently nod through the phone, knowing that we both have our own plan for him, and that it looks very different, until she said “You know, the kids were taking away because they (the parents) did not have their best interest in mind”…Wow, all I could say was ” “I think we can agree, that we all want what is best for him. we just have different opinions of what that looks like”
If parenting is the hardest job in the world,…what is foster parenting?